Leave a Message at the Tone

It's spring and I'm feeling a little lost.





I always feel this way this time of year. The world wakes from its winter slumber and for the first time I notice how asleep I really am.





God and I don't have a lot of chats. Once every year or two I have an "Are you there God it's me Margaret" moment, usually because I need something, or someone does who I think is less likely to ask.





We had a little chat this morning, although it felt more like leaving a voicemail. I waited for the beep and said my piece.





I think he's screening his calls.

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Thirty

I turned thirty today. I always thought my twenties would be too hard to leave but you know? A decade's a mighty long time. I'm ready to say adieu.

This year was the nicest birthday I can ever recall. I was woken at 7 by birthday candles and a bottle of champagne, friends around the table and me in the least flattering pajamas I own. The day was filled with balloons and phone calls and unexpected kindness, chocolate-covered strawberries and the sagest advice.

I've learned a few lessons these past few days and I learned them in the right order, if that makes any sense. I am humbled and honored and so very okay. It's time to think more about loving and less about being loved.

Thirty used to sound like forever but the older I get, the younger I realize I am. I have wrinkles now, but only in the places that crease when I laugh.

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Winter into Spring

 { photo by amelia john }

{ photo by amelia john } 

{ photo by amelia john }

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And on the Eighth Day, the Lord Made Weekends

Because sometimes?

You just need to spray paint the shit out of something.

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Diversifying My Dreams

I cut my hair and dyed it red - professionally this time at least - a change two of my most trusted friends advised me against.

I'm not a stubborn person by nature but occasionally, when I have a mind to do something and someone tells me no, I become irrationally committed to an extent I would not have otherwise been.

They were right, it turns out. It's not that it looks bad, but it doesn't look like me. I looked in the mirror and had the surprising realization that I am no longer 25. The second surprise was that I'm glad.

Hair grows back, is the good thing.

Last night I made pizza with cauliflower and anchovies. Today I'm writing my last freelance piece for what I hope will be a long while and then I'm going to read about systems theory and Six Sigma and 18th century London. Tuesday is my first ukulele lesson and next weekend I'm attending a seminar on marketing for arts organizations. These days I'm diversifying my dreams.

I woke early this morning and made cinnamon plum tea ice cream with chunks of homemade brownie, then sat on our front steps with a cup of coffee and watched the snow fall. Nearly every day for seven years I've stepped outside and wondered how I could be so lucky to live in this place.

I hope you feel the same, wherever you are.

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